Apoptosis: The Disappearance of Dadi

A Physiological Elegy

Apoptosis primarily signifies a fall. ‘Ptosis’ translates to fall, while ‘apo’ means into an abyss or simply falling like a leaf. It is a process that happens silently and barely leaves a trace. This is mostly an inferred phenomenon. There was something here! This phenomenon seen in a painless death that occurred at night. She had a one-room mud house with a mud chulha, a hearth. The cupboards made of excavated mud. Some utensils and containers visible near Chulha, and a small trunk was all she had. Her bed was in front of the chulha.

She would often be seen sleeping, bent double alone. She only slept on her side. She lived a quiet life spent in silence. When children reached her courtyard, she would raise her face to look up at a walnut. Her beady, little eyes smiled as young kids towered over her. Sometimes they would come and sit by her Chulha. They addressed her as Dadi.

She was a great, great-grandmother. All her contemporaries and even her younger contemporaries were dead. Nobody knew how she fitted into the equation; her references were sometimes all dead. She was like that cell which at a point did the single task of existing, tolerated and forgotten. Sitting next to her, her kids would go quiet.

She would continue her job and maybe take out a potato from ash and embers for the kids. She mostly remained silent, but something passed in that quiet. It was a blessing, a flowing of kindness. It was as if she was a great storehouse. Sitting with her, somehow everybody would get something. She is venerated like the silent goddesses, many of whom are strewn around in the village, quiet and comforting stones.

On another hearth nearby, someone mentioned that Dadi was not seen. They quickly realized nobody had seen her in the last four days. No, smoke was noted from her chimney. The lady of the hearth said, Take the “blathiya” a bundle of sticks. Their bark has been harvested for making ropes. These sticks are mostly cane and white in color. They were used as a torch. Go and check on her. A boy was sent to check on her. He inspected her house and found it as neat as before. He saw her lying unresponsive next to the hearth. His heart sank, and he ran back to announce she was dead. Everybody came, and the women sat for the vigil. The next day, someone picked her up in his arms. He transferred her onto a stack of wood for cremation. He said she seemed to weigh less than 20 Kg. That is the weight of a 5-year-old child. Her face was like a walnut. She had two bright beady eyes surrounded by crinkles. A ghost of a smile lingered, and her bent form looked closely at the earth. Now, silent and uncommunicative, no smell, no bloating, a shriveled stick.

Nobody used her mud house again. It too fell bit by bit till it was finally swept away.